Not Yet

What I could have

What I would have

I lost them, didn’t I?

I lost myself.  Who is this person

Anyway

I don’t exist I’m just an idea

A drawing on the side of my biology notes

I thought I could keep it separate

If I stayed separate from me

Then perhaps I would get better

I did think

Truly

That I would get better

You have to believe me

Although who can believe the words a shadow speaks

I have been rubbed on the cold rugged peaks of the world

And now I am dull

Facets dim - cloudy

I realize that the hand that

Held my life string and nibbled

Like some feral rat upon me

Not the me you know

But the pain and fire and oh

Oh.

That hand is made of cells

With my DNA.

So no, to answer your question

Better is not a word I would use

Not yet.